You've got some humorous ideas in here, and a couple really solid deliveries. But I can't help but feel that it the writing needs tightening up. Honestly, faster editing might suffice. It feels a little bit like you're evenly spacing each and every line reading. Pull those sound files closer together and shorten the movie.
The models are effective enough as placeholders, but you really need to get these characters moving. Especially when they're emoting. Extreme emotions call for extreme actions. Really SHOW these characters living their experiences. You can clearly draw well enough, so don't be afraid to draw more! Get those characters moving!
Couldn't agree more... some times we just get lazy with some scenes. Thanks for your opinions and thoughts... we hope you continue to watch.
The art/animation is where I feel you need the most work. The movements aren't particularly well executed and the lack of compelling directing leaves much to be desired. From the start, I figured the writing and acting would follow suit, but I was wrong. This is actually a very funny cartoon with a silly premise and fortunately it doesn't go on any longer than it needed to. The audio quality was pretty bad and the acting (while passable) needs work.
A solid effort to be sure and as you develop as an artist and acquire better sound equipment, you'll definitely become a force to be reckoned with. Keep an eye on this guy, Newgrounds. "TiredPreston" is definitely one to watch.
Oh, you did.
More plz. K, thx.
This was a neat idea, and definitely something that should be done again.
Nice animation, confusing directing.
What I enjoy about this video is the animation. The loose, almost unfinished look the dream has reminds me of those old animated short films MTV used to air all the time. And I mean that in a good way.
My only criticism would be the direction. I feel it's difficult to keep track of the scene and the characters in the space much of the time. You may have done this on purpose to make the dream seem more otherworldly, but I think it does a greater disservice to your animation.
Overall, the pacing is frantic and exciting and made the movie a real joy to watch. I certainly hope to see more from you in the future.
haha thank you
I have absolutely no idea what's going on. None of the text is translated.
Additionally, it seems you've used as many annoying sound effects as possible, and the sounds really start to grate on the ears after a very short time.
The art style is cute I guess, but poorly animating with tweens just doesn't cut it for me. Direction is terrible as well. Would it have killed you to draw the scene from more than one perspective? It gets old.
This is a fantastic sculpture, nicely detailed and expertly crafted, but this is not a flash movie. This video would be a better fit for youtube, and you could've put one of those pictures in the newgrounds art portal.
Cool, but seems unfinished.
You have some nicely done animation in here, but it seems unfinished. Was there originally supposed to be more?
Great song. Poor animation.
This is easily one of my favorite songs, and I absolutely love Jonathan Coulton. That said, I was greatly disappointed with your attempt to animate a music video for it.
First and foremost, your tweens are some of the worst that I've ever seen. Symbols seem to be moving and swaying all over the place with no particular purpose. Because of your unwillingness to redraw much of anything, pretty much all of the "movements" look like involuntary twitching.
The presentation here is decent and I think some of your direction is alright, but without basic animation skills, anything solid falls flat.
Because of how sporadic the movements are, I would work extensively on improving the way in which you present actions. Anticipation is just as important as the action itself, and you need to learn this sooner rather than later. The easiest way to fix this and start seriously improving? Stop tweening so much. It usually looks ugly, unless you REALLY know what you're doing.
Oh, and one more thing. If you animate to a song with a chorus, no one wants to see the same animation 3 times in the same 3-5 minute sitting. Do not reuse animation just because the song reuses lyrics. Maybe this wouldn't be such a big deal if the animation you did for this section was of a higher quality, but it's not. So don't.
I don't mean to rip too heavily on you, but I do feel that it's good to have some adversity in your path. It's how you get better. It's how we all get better.
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